‘It is uncommon to have a guy friend and expect that he expects nothing from you,’ a good (girl) friend once told me.
As weird as it sounds, though, last night I had a quite friendly dinner with the most unimaginable person – with nothing of that expectation she talked about.
He was my mentor.
He’s harsh, far from a gentleman
(whoever left a girl behind in a f*cking downpour?!), almost everything that came out of his mouth is poison, and he has the highest standard of all human beings I’ve ever encountered.
Above all, he was an utterly straightforward person. That was probably what kept me around. And that was when I realised why I used to hate him so much. It’s not easy to admit that the reason you dislike someone is because you see bits of yourself in him.
‘Birds of a feather.’
We built our walls so high that only persistent few could break them down. We really, really, really don’t care if everyone else hates us as long as we get to keep our principles.
Last but not least, apparently both of us want to run a hangout place when we got older (him, a bar; me, a cafe) – but wait that was out of topic.
He told me he was a bit like me before – having fun, being nice to people (or at least tried to), and all the things I do to make things work. But things happened, and he changed into this person everyone knows him as.
I don’t know whether that was the only way to survive this cutthroat world of ours.
What do I know? I have this minuscule knowledge, and he’s been through much more than me. A lot of what he told me last night stuck in my head, and I’ve been wondering ever since if I would ever get to a point where I have to change the way he did and get rid of all humanity. After all, isn’t it what it takes if you wanted to beat the monsters?
Aside from How To Beat The Monsters 101, there were a lot of things I’ve learnt from him, so regret was out of the question. No matter how frustrated I got when I worked with him, he was the only one who has ever told me I’m strong. And I appreciated the fact that he told me all those insufferable things because he knew I can take it.
‘What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger,’ I told him with a grin.
But I wouldn’t be where I am now if I wimped out every time a superior spoke up about how much of a failure I could be, would I? You know what they say – one of the best feelings in this world is doing something others said you can’t do.
I curse a lot. Apparently he did, too. For introverted people like us, it helps a lot.
When people like us fall down, we curse as much as we need, and moved on.
Endurance: one of the crucial things I honed when I worked with him.
There were other advices too, some laughs, and some funny moments that I think could only happen to apathetic people like us. Stayed for like three hours over this kind of talk, and left with quite a lot of thoughts despite the amount of booze I gulped down. It was one of the most surreal night I’ve ever had, yet I went home with a feeling of gratitude.
Just so you know, he refused to accept my thank you and told me to keep it until I get promoted. Ha. See if I could curse my way up, then.
Stick around, o captain, my captain!